Have you ever been told that you’re too much? I think that in some point in our lives, we’ve all been told that we are, in one way or another; too loud, too quiet, too goofy, too serious, too calculative, too carefree.
As you navigate your life, you’ll find yourself in various situations that have unique settings, people, and expectations. You might not always have the chance to be your most authentic self, because certain situations need you to be professional, somber, or to let your hair down.
This is very different from having to change key aspects of who you are. When someone tells you that they find some aspect of your personality too overpowering, it can really hurt, and you can feel like the only choice that you have is to suppress that aspect so that you’ll be more palatable.
That person might like you better that way, but only because you’ve watered yourself down from the version of yourself that you truly are.
The Danger of Watering Yourself Down
You are an intensely unique human being. You are an individual with wonderful hopes, dreams, interests, and characteristics. You exist for yourself, for your joys and your shortcomings, for your passions and tendencies.
You are not on this Earth to please other people. If you aren’t spending your life being your truest self, then you are robbing the world of what only you can give it.
Beyond this, if you aren’t staying true to who you are, you can’t form real relationships. A relationship is formed when you know someone, and you both form a connection because you are complimentary people. When you water yourself down, you are also stopping yourself from finding people who know you deeply and love you honestly.
Additionally, watering yourself down is absolutely exhausting. If you’re living your life in a state of constant wariness that someone won’t like who you are, you’re wasting energy on policing yourself instead of enjoying living.
This extends to social media, where almost all the content that we see and upload is carefully curated. As you constantly view only the very prettiest and shiniest parts of people’s lives while also uploading a modified version of yourself, you’ll likely find that you feel burnt out and experience social fatigue.
Being Disliked: Authenticity vs. Hurting others
There are people out there that will do unpleasant things and label it a result of their authenticity. Being authentic isn’t an excuse to hurt people because you’re “brutally honest”, and it definitely isn’t a license to ignore people’s boundaries because you’re “just too much of an extrovert”.
None of this is to say that we shouldn’t be open to constructive criticism, because no one should be proud of bad habits or unthoughtful personality traits. We can all stand to learn something from others. However, just as there is a difference between being authentic and being unpleasant, there is a difference between someone criticizing your actions and criticizing who you are.
The point of never watering yourself down is instead to celebrate your quirks and character traits. If who you are is hurting someone, it is likely a good idea to sit down and reevaluate your actions, but if they simply don’t like who you are, then move on from that person and don’t think twice about it.
In life, no matter how nice you are and how hard you try to respect others, there will be people who simply do not like you. This is of no fault of yours. You simply aren’t a good fit for each other, and there is nothing wrong with that. It isn’t a reflection of your worth or your character.
Rather than avoiding being disliked, embrace it. It’s a step closer to a life filled with only people who genuinely love you, and who will fill your life with love and joy.
The Beauty of Unapologetic Authenticity
Watering yourself down holds you back.
When you are unapologetically yourself, you will attract more of what is best for you. You will find that you have so much more joy, serenity, and energy because you are simply existing as you were meant to.
You can build a life that is exclusively filled with people who love, know, and accept you completely.
If you had any doubts or were hesitant to stop watering yourself down, this is me giving you a sign, or permission, or whatever push it is that you need – never be anything but your most authentic self. Be unburdened by fear, accept and proudly display who you are to the world so that you can live the life that you were meant to!
If you still feel like you need a bit more convincing or any sort of extra help, please reach out to me. I’m here for you and would love to help. You are never alone.